Blog Train: FTWM After Work Hours

I have previously join a linky stating why I chose to be a FTWM. Another taking a peek at a day in my life. This time when Christy holds a blog train for FTWM, I had to join to show my support. But now that I’m sitting here typing out the blog posts, I’m not really sure I have anything to write. 😛

Now that Loi is older and I had stop breast feeding, plus we got ourselves a helper, my after work hours compare to the previous post is slightly different. Basically, now when I reach home, after shower and dinner its time to spend with the kids. Yipee no more housework to do, bottle to wash and breast pump to sterilize.

With that, it ends my after work hours. So what can I write? Ok, I thought hard and came up with this 5 tips. Hope it can provide some kind of help or maybe let you feel you are not alone in NOT being a super mom.

1. Don’t be afraid to ask for help
Let’s admit, not all of us are capable to be a super mom, me included. So don’t be afraid to admit it. We don’t have to do everything by ourselves. Getting external help will definitely do a FTWM some good. Try doing your sums to see if you can afford a live-in helper. You can read more about my views on domestic help here. Well, if you really can’t, then consider a part-time helper to do some weekly maintenance of the house. Otherwise, rope in your husband and children to help out in the chores.

Before we have our domestic helper, Zai helps me out in some of my chores such as putting on the clothes peg and all. It’s a good bonding activity too.

2. Understand that kids are able to entertain themselves
I came to realize that kids are capable of entertaining themselves. There really isn’t a need to jam pack their schedule with learning activities everyday (even if it is a learn-through-play activity). If you let the kids have a chance to get “bored”, you can see their creativity come in to play and how they will find means to get themselves occupied. We just have to facilitate them and also ensure that we don’t have a mess to clear up after that. Or better still, get them to clear up their own mess.

3. Go for simple activities on weekday night
Having said the above, if you still feel a need to have some activities, go for simple activities that is easy to setup and cleanup so it doesn’t tax your already tired body. Our common activities are “no-mess” drawing doodling (using crayons, markers or just simple chops), book reading and pretend play. Or the dish-washing activity I share over here is also a good weekday night activity.

I think it helps for me that Zai is very good at pretend play. He comes up with scenarios from the books he reads or shows he watches and he will rope us in to help act it out.

Loi acting as a princess while KorKor help with the "gown". My kids are just good at pretend play.
Loi acting as a princess while KorKor help with the “gown”. My kids are just good at pretend play.

4. Don’t be overly concern about “screen-time”
I admit I’m those parents that allow the kids to watch on our smart phones while waiting for dinner to be served at a restaurant. Just to ensure that the kids stay in seats and “keep quiet” (but strictly no distraction while eating). I also allow them some “screen-time” (on TV and Smart Devices) on some weekday nights. Especially on days when I’m so tired from the day work, and has no more energy to keep them entertained.

We have all read about the side effects of having too much screen time. I’m concern as well, but I think it’s unavoidable at this era. I think more importantly is how they use it and what they are expose to. For us, we choose the programs they watch and the apps they play carefully. I also make it a point to sit beside them and engage with them even while they are watching or playing with the apps (Yes, I can sing almost the entire opening song for ‘Sofia the First’ already). So that it is not a one-way interaction and we can follow-up with discussion on what we saw or learn from the apps.

But do limit each session to not more than half an hour. We usually set it to 15 minutes for our kids, to ensure their eyes get plenty rest.

5. Ensure enough rest
For yourself I mean. We all know, we tend to be more short-tempered when we do not have enough rest. So don’t push yourself to continue if you really need the rest. It’s not beneficial to anyone. So turn-in early if you need to. If there is nobody to take care of the kid, get them to turn-in also. They may protest or fool around in the room for a while. But if nobody continue to “entertain” them, they will soon fall asleep too.

I hope you will find these tips useful.

This is a blog train hosted by Kids R Simple on “A Peek into the After Work Hours of a FTWM“. Read about how the other 20 FTWMs handle their kids and household everyday from 1 June to 21 June. The aim is to give other working mums motivation, ideas and support to deal with the everyday demands of juggling work and family while keeping sane. We will be happy to hear your story, tips and even an encouraging word will make our day! Share your thoughts in the comments!

Next up is Natasha from quirkyaffairs.com.

Natasha

Natasha is a recently converted full time working mum juggling 2 part time jobs, an online business and the world of motherhood while currently pregnant with her 2nd child. She blogs at quirky affairs, sharing bits and bobs of her life – capturing everyday moments with her family, indulging in her little idiosyncrasies, documenting milestones, pregnancy jitters & first experiences on parenthood and takes heart that it’s okay to be imperfect.

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7 thoughts on “Blog Train: FTWM After Work Hours

  1. Thanks for supporting the blog train! Your tip no. 2 is so so right! Kids seriously need a dose of boredom before their creative juices ooze out. We really needn’t be so obsessed with cramping all “learning” activities in every second of their waking hours. I agree with No. 4 too. Some parents swear not to let their kids touch the screen evil. But I feel everything has to be moderate. I have heard of kids who go into gaming out of control when their parents no longer can control them once they become teens.

    1. Oh my that is bad. There is a limit to what we can control over the kids, I think more importantly is to choose what u think work for ur kids. As every child is different. 🙂

  2. yes, totally agree with the let the kids get bored tip 🙂 We used to engage part time helper when the kids were younger. Then the part time helper gone disappeared one day (had been with us for 3 years!), we were lazy to get used to a new person. So ended up the hub volunteer to be the part time maid, haha! Yes, don’t have to insist to do everything on our own, close one or both eyes at times helps a huge lot!

  3. Enjoyed reading this. At times when I’m really exhausted, I do wish that there’s a maid in the house. But after our bad experience with our previous helper, who lasted only 4 months, we’ve decided to forgo this option. Your point no.2 is what I’ve recently come to realise too! I’ve learnt to let the kids entertain themselves, and I realise that they’re getting more creative as a result! That’s better than any learning activities I’ve planned! Ha!

    1. Thanks Ing. I think I’m very lucky to get my this helper. I cannot imagine my days without her now. Just hope she will stay with us long enough. 🙂

      Yes! Aren’t they just more creative. Sometime I think we are inhibiting their creativity by planning too well. LOL.

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