This week MM is still on Tuesday with Morrie. Can see how slowly I’m reading.
“There’s a big confusion in this country over what we want versus what we need,” Morrie said. “You need food, you want a chocolate sundae. You have to be honest with yourself. You don’t need the latest sports car, you don’t need the biggest house. The truth is, you don’t get satisfaction from those things. You know what really gives you satisfaction?…Offering others what you have to give…I don’t mean money, Mitch. I mean your time. Your concern. Your storytelling. It’s not so hard.”
This quote came at a good time again. These few weeks I have been reflecting on myself and how I help others. If you ask me, I think I’m quite helpful. Sometimes I think I’m too helpful that things went the wrong way. As in, sometimes people really don’t need the help but the “helpful” me will be so enthusiastic that I forgot about their feelings.
But I’m not only reflecting on these cases. But on cases where sometimes I’m just reluctant to help certain people. This happens because this few weeks a colleague and a relative have been seeking for my help. But somehow I realise that my first reaction was to give some pointers but not really helping them out.
I question myself why did I react in such a way.
I came to realise that its because these people tend to make use of your kindness. You help them once, they expect you to help them again and again. Worst they expect you to do more and they feel now you are obliged to do it. Subsequently when these people ask for my help, even if it is totally unrelated to the previous incident, I still feel reluctant to help.
Is this right?
I haven’t found an answer. After reading the quote, I’m more confused. I know this quote apply to the general public and not only to people we know but people we don’t know too. Like doing volunteer work or even helping people in our day to day life. So how about this group of people? Do they still deserve our help?
My approach for now is to do a 50-50. Meaning, I will still help them if it is really what we Chinese say “舉手之勞” (takes little effort and is within my means). I think I will no longer adopt the “go all out to help” mentality with this group of people. I’m not sure if I’m right but I guess that is the conclusion I can come up with now.
What do you think?
To end the post, I have another quote which I found it really interesting. For all of us to “chew” on…
“Mitch,if you’re trying to show off for people at the top,forget it.They will look down at you anyhow.And if you’re trying to show off for people at the bottom,forget it.They will only envy you.Status will get you nowhere.Only an open heart will allow you to float equally between everyone.”