Recently somebody passed a judgement on our parenting. I understand completely what he is talking about and seriously they are not “wrong” in some sense. However I still have to jump to my own defense here. Nope, I didn’t rebut the person there and then. There isn’t a need to, cause he will not understand. As he doesn’t have a kid himself. To begin with he is not even married, and was just sharing his great plans of how he wants to raise up his child the next time and how unlike ours it will be.
See the issue here? He isn’t a parent yet. Something I have learned in this 2.5 years of parenthood is not to pass judgement about other parents parenting style. Cause you really don’t know how it’s like for them especially so when you haven’t done it yourself.
Remember when we aren’t parents yet we always frown on those parents who let their kids fool around in the MRT trains? Or those that let their kids talk and run around in the library? Or those whose kids just threw a tantrum in the shopping mall when they couldn’t get what they want? I’m not saying this kind of behavior should be allowed. It’s just now that I’m a mom myself and my boy is in his terrible two, I start to understand why some parents are doing what they are doing.
Nope, I don’t allow my boy to fool around in the MRT much. However, when he is with his Dad they tend to bend this rule a little. Like doing “chin up” (seriously, Daddy is always the bad example). But well, to justify ourselves, we didn’t really obstruct anybody. And nobody gave up their seat for my boy and how do you keep a 2 year boy entertained in a MRT that travels underground? Ok, well its still a bad habit to form I know. I will remind Chubby the next time.
And just two weeks ago, our boy was in one of his worst behavior. We brought him to Esplanade to watch a play. After the play, we walked over to MS since I need to go Kiddy Palace to top up some of the kids staff. Before we went into the shop, I allow him to play in the small playground. And even left him with Chubby while I went to shop. When its time to leave, he refuses to leave and started to throw a tantrum. I brought him to a corner and left him there. He cried and even lie on the floor to show his tantrum. I have never imagine myself to be in such a situation. If I’m a passer by (in the past), I will think that I’m a bad parent who doesn’t know how to control my kids. But seriously the boy is well behave most of the time. Its only on certain occasions that he can’t control his behavior and his wants. That is why he is a two year old kid. Not that we didn’t teach.
Having say all these, I’m not saying I’m your perfect parent or I don’t listen to others. I’m always eager to know and learn how other parents interact and teach their kids. But talk to me only when you have done it. Whether you succeed or not, I’m still eager to listen. To know more. But don’t comment when you don’t even know how tough it is.
It may sound like I’m upset or angry with that person. Seriously I’m not and I’m not saying his dreams will not be realize. With his financial power, I jolly well thinks that he might be able to achieve all that his wants. But I’m not him. I don’t have the ability to be a SAHM or a WAHM. And neither do I have the skills required to do so. So I will just be contented with what I’m doing now and do whatever I can within my limits for my kids and believed that they will still grow up to be fine. I don’t need them to be elite. I just hope they lead a decent life. 🙂