The Guilty Mom

I look at the calendar on my blog and realize with a shock that I haven’t blogged for more than a week! Work was really crazy last week and leading to this week, so blogging has taken a backseat. Plus it doesn’t help that I was very engross in The Hunger Games that reading blogs and FB has also been put on hold. Anyway, I digress.

I remember the other day reading on a The Gingerbread Mum blog about having more than 1 kid. She says that the love of a Mom won’t get divided by the kids. However, time doesn’t.

And just the other day I was talking to Chubby on a similar topic. I told him I feel guilty that I’m not spending time with Loi. Last time when Zai was younger, I will make it a point to read to him every day. But I didn’t have time and energy to do the same with Loi.

And sometime when I finally have time to spend with her, Zai will come along demanding my attention and pull me away from her. I’m not sure he did it out of jealousy or simply wants a playmate.

So I’m feeling real guilty about it and just wish that I have more time. Then Chubby told me to take another perspective in this. He says Zai have to “suffer” from our inexperience as parents so Loi is quite lucky in that sense.

For example, Loi appears to be healthier cause I learn that I shouldn’t eat too much oranges when I’m pregnant. Apparently they will cause your kids to have more “mucus” or “phlegm”, which I think Zai suffers from time to time. So I did reduce my orange intake and not sure if it is related but Loi has lesser such problems.

And also I learn later in my pregnancy with Zai that I’m not to wear bra with under-wire, as they may cause block duct next time I want to breast feed. So I changed my bras much later. Not sure if also this is related, but my milk flow for Zai was lesser. He was supplemented with formula when he is about 6 months. While for Loi, she is still on breast milk.

I also learn later that I need to take supplements in order to let my breast milk have even more “nutrients”. Ah~ this I didn’t know when I was breastfeeding Zai. So with Loi I’m constantly on multi-vits and calcium pills. I even bought multi-vits with DHA hopefully it will be of some help to Loi. And yes I do notice that Loi is generally healthier than Zai when he was at that age. And even when Loi did fall ill, she manage to recover mostly on her own. Whereas Zai, we brought him to the doc a couple of times when he was younger.

I am grateful that Chubby brought me to another perspective of this parenthood. But still I will feel the guiltiness now and then. I just wish I could have more time. But its really difficult. Quitting my job might be a way, but we do need the extra income. *Sigh*

So, other mums with multiple kids out there. How do you overcome such “guiltiness”?


2 thoughts on “The Guilty Mom

  1. I feel you man, I also find it hard to find time to blog nowadays! I only have one kid but I work 2 jobs so I’m facing the exact same problem and guilt. Just gotta make it up to them in the weekends loh I guess.. haha

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