Recently my MIL is very troubled about the dinner for CNY 1st Day. I think it started with her mum calling her asking what to cook for that day. And my MIL got very upset because nobody volunteered to help the old grandma in cooking. Besides she herself is going for an eye operation next week, it is not advisable for her to cook. She felt that grandma have so many DIL but nobody ‘automatically’ helped her.
In the past I use to be like her. Putting my expectations on others without them knowing. Like I expect Chubby to help out without the need for me to open my mouth. But the fact is this is our own expectations, we shouldn’t impose on others. Who will know whether you need the help? Some might just think that grandma enjoys cooking for her children and grandchildren. So it never cross their mind that she is too old for it now. Like my family always goes to my uncle place for Poh piah and dinner on the first day of CNY. Nobody have ever asked my Auntie if it is too tough for her. Or to actually help her out in the cooking. Same in my MIL case. It’s just a habit everyone develop over the years.
To me, its real simple to resolve the problem. Informed everyone in advance that grandma is too old to cook. Lets just have pot luck. If you aren’t free to cook, you can always buy. These days lots of shops are open in CNY, it definately is not a problem.
I have brought the idea across to her. Not sure if she will actually do it though. Just don’t wish to see any ugly sides on the first day of CNY.