That day I manage to catch a small part of “Surviving Motherhood” on Discovery Home and Health.
It’s about a mom who is handling her daughter who is about 5 and her twins who are less than a year old. She tried to do everything on her own. From housework to taking care of the kids. She refuses help and doesn’t want to put her child at childcare cause she feels she should spend time with her. And she has a schedule for her housework which she aims to follow.
However it proves that all was too much for her to take. So she ended up stressed and venting her frustration on her husband which she thinks isn’t helping. Fact is the husband doesn’t know how to help her.
This sets me thinking. I think I’m a control freak too. Maybe OCD also. I remember that during one of my appraisal my PM did mention that I don’t know how to let go of my powers. Most of the time doing things on my own instead of delegating. Basically I don’t trust them enough to handle properly, so I prefer to do it myself.
Since then I constantly remind myself to let go. Again there are times which I forgot to trust. But I think I did improve a little. However, I dare not say the same when I’m at home, until the show gave me a gentle reminder. I forgot I should delegate my tasks at home too.
I have been learning to take things easier. Give specific instructions to Chubby for him to help out. Can’t wait for them to volunteer much cause they really don’t know what to help.
So life is a little easier now. Though I should learn to let go even more. The one task that I really wish to delegate is the breast feeding, so I can have proper night rest. But how?